today's word is ...

...some days it seems to come at me from all directions, and all i can say is WHY. ...
that was my facebook status for this morning. a bit whiny, yes. self-pitying, absolutely. self-defeating, coulda been.

but i CHOSE not to let it be. had another long talk with myself. and said, self, what is wrong ? i dunno know, i whispered. self, why the tears ? i dunno know, i sobbed. self, whatcha gonna do about this funk ? i dunno know, i wailed.

what did i do ? i got my whiny self to the gym, quietly put myself through the circuit, not a knock em dead routine, but a satisfactory one. did some grocery shopping, went to lunch with sweetie, got the car inspected (yay, it passed !), purchased a book for my classroom, and then came home to catch up on facebook gossip.

well, that's no great deep philosophical answer, i hear you saying, sighing as you sip your favorite drink and pop another snack bite into your mouth. and i would say to you, you are absolutely right. but now, for the puzzle pieces hidden under the cover....

only a short bit of time ago, i would have said screw the gym -- it's not working anyway,-- i would have bought two candy bars at the grocery store, finished one before i got to the car and the other before i arrived home ten minutes later, -- i would have told sweetie to take himself to lunch, puh-leeze!,-- i would have ignored the expiring inspection sticker, -- and i would have crawled into the recliner, under my favorite comforter (oh oh could this be a -- security blanket -- ??) , and vegged in front of the blabblering tv all day.

today i faced Life, head on and said, i'm not taking this lying down. bring it on. i can so do whatever needs doing. and i'm glad i did. reflecting on the past hours, i am satisfied with the path i chose for today...

my frustration with the gym ? - obsession with the scale and still having the 80's instant - results mind - set. patience and perseverance are the key words here.

as for everything else being 'clear as mud' (as my high school french teacher used to say) every task i finished settled a bit of the debris. so now i am thinking a bit more clearly, feeling much less stressed, and ready to relax for the evening.

today's word: choice.

blessed be.